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How To Minimize Holiday Stress
In an ideal world
the holidays are a time when family comes together to
celebrate, there is peace on earth and goodwill abounds,
children are well behaved, teenagers are happy and cooperative
and visiting family bring smiles, compliments and gifts.
Sharing and caring with loved one sounds
wonderful, but often there is an undercurrent of tension
that can make this a difficult and dreaded time for
some. Why does this happen, after all the holidays only
come around once a year and we deal with family tension
all year round.
The answer is family dynamics, the need
to live up to expectations, exhaustion and finances.
Families, who don't normally spend a lot of time together
because of work/school commitments or because of location,
are now spending all of several days together. People
fall back into old patterns of behavior, old arguments
still simmer and issues that have been avoided have
a way of coming to the surface. Those involved can feel
angry and unappreciated, which in turn causes more tension
and so the cycle begins.
Add to the mix a host who is exhausted
from weeks of shopping, planning and decorating, teenagers
who resent the invasion of their space and time, young
children who just know how to capitalize on the fact
that you have company and you have a recipe for disaster
If you are hosting a family holiday
event, you may find that the stress of trying to create
the perfect holiday season for the family begins many
weeks before the holiday actually arrives. Eliminating
holiday tension and stress would require a lifestyle
change that very few people really want to make. You
can however make it more manageable.
Accept that the holidays will come and
there is nothing you can do about it, be determined
to be flexible and not sweat the small stuff
Acknowledge that this is not an ideal
world and that people don't change just because it is
the holidays. Your in-laws may snipe at your decor and
your cooking, your teenager will want to hang with friends
than be stuck with family and everybody else will still
be the same. In the grand scheme of things it does not
matter, keep it in perspective, remember the "perfect
holiday" is different for everyone.
Don't shop till you drop, instead make
a list and stick to it. Holiday spending can easily
get out of control and leave you with a financial headache
for the New Year. Determine your budget and stick to
it, be ruthless.
Don't let guilt or a misplaced sense
of obligation force you into attending parties and activities
you would rather not go to. Pick events you know you
will enjoy and that means something to you and you will
have a great time.
Consider your expectations of others
during the holidays. When it comes to the family photo,
family functions, holiday activities, do you expect
your spouse and children to be shiny happy people for
all such activities and events. Don't let a tense situation
develop just because they are not behaving the way you
think they should. Consider what they want to do and
talk about it.
In a nutshell be realistic, focus on
the people you love, don't overspend, keep your sense
of humor and you will keep your sanity. Life is short
and time is precious, consider every holiday you spend
with family and friends as a wonderful gift. Most important
of all…Enjoy.
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