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When Should You Marry?
Since the divorce
rate is at an all time high many are asking when and
if they should marry? It is interesting that at the
beginning of the 20th Century men were in their late
twenties before getting married.
In the early part of 1960 half of all
girls in the USA were married by their twentieth birthday.
Males were about two years older.
The 90's saw many getting married while
still in their teen years. This no doubt accounts at
least in-part for the high percentage of divorces. The
national statistics reveal that teenage marriages are
the most unstable with the highest chance of divorce.
Many of them marry out of emotional impulse and pre-marital
pregnancies which lead to a higher risk of divorce.
At the present time those entering into
wedlock are taking longer to decide about marriage.
However, some are attempting a trial habitation to see
if it might work.
When are you ready for marriage and
how do you know if proper preparation has been taken
for a successful marriage? There is no absolutely guarantee
for success...
There are at least 3 areas to consider
in determining if you are properly prepared for a life
long commitment.
Maturity
You should be mature enough to take
on the personal responsibilities of a family. Granted
this may be some what subjective, but there are ways
to measure the maturity level. If you are not sure what
those responsibilities are, or even if you do know,
it is advantageous to speak with someone who is well
capable of addressing the responsibilities of a couple.
Studies have indicated that the best
age to enter marriage is early to mid-twenties. This
is the age that most men are either out of school or
have performed their military service to their country.
Likewise the women are out of school by this age as
well. At this particular time most have had their share
of dating experiences and desire to begin the process
of settling down.
At the same time, however, chronological
age is not necessarily proof that one is mature. Women
seem to mature earlier than men, but that is not always
the case. There are many factors in a persons background
that either enhances their maturity or retard it. Therefore,
each person has to be considered separatley.
You should, however, evaluate not only
your own life, but your potential partner as well. Do
not leave the evaluation process up to someone else.
You do the evaluating. You may want someone's advice,
but you must have your eyes "wide open".
What are you looking for in your evaluation?
Start with the reasoning behind getting married. Why
do you both want to be married? It is not enough to
say that you love each other. Wouldn't you assume that
most people who are now divorced would have said they
loved each other in the beginning? Not all of course,
but most "fall" in love and get married.
Look deeper than the love aspect! Are
there clues of immaturity such as: wanting to be out
of the parent's authority; desiring a sexual relationship;
escaping educational responsibilities; etc. These may
be good reasons for marriage, but more often than not,
they are poor reasons.
The emotional aspect of love is very
fickle. It comes and goes, so look for intellectual
reasons for getting married. Do you both complement
one another with your strengths and weaknesses? Do you
both have the same type of objectives in life? Do you
enjoy participating in similar events?
Educational
Have you both completed your education?
This is a judgment call whether you should have it completed
prior to marriage. It may be beneficial to have it completed
so you are able to focus on your studies and extra-curricular
activities.
There also may be less resentment if
both partners have their education completed. Many times
the wife drops out of college to put her husband through
school, then, she never gets back to her own educational
goals. Once the dust settles (her husband is in his
career, children are all in school) regret, anger, and
resentment begin to knock on the wife's heart.
Financial
Not everyone is able to be financially
independent at the time of marriage, but financial stability
is a good place to begin a marriage. If you are deeply
indebt or do not have a reliable occupation it may behoove
you to postpone the ceremony a bit longer.
1howto.com
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