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Are You Meeting Your Spouse's Emotional Needs?
Marriages are made
in heaven they say, but eventually, every marriage has
to come down to earth. The honeymoon "orbits"
gradually decrease in passion and intensity, due to
other priorities that demand our attention. More so,
when the bundle of joy arrives!
Loving glances are gradually replaced
by frowns, the stars in your eyes do not shine so brightly
anymore, and your attempts at intimate conversation
is punctuated by wails from the little intruder. You
discover, as almost every married couple before you
have discovered, that the feeling called "romantic
love" has to be nurtured by a continuous process
of meeting each other's emotional needs.
What is an emotional need? It is a deep
desire within you that, when satisfied, gives you a
feeling of extreme happiness and contentment. If this
desire is unsatisfied, it leaves you with a feeling
of unhappiness and frustration. It follows, therefore,
that when a husband and wife meet each other's most
important emotional needs, they will be so happy and
contented with each other that, they will experience
passionate love, and stay in love as long as these emotional
needs are met.
But, each of us have different emotional
needs, and even if both spouses have the same emotional
needs, their priorities for each emotional need may
be different. For instance, love and romance for most
men are sex and recreation; for most women its affection
and intimate conversation. Now, if such a husband and
wife pair would spend a recreational evening together,
show intense affection, with deep, intimate conversation,
it would naturally lead to sexual fulfillment. The result?
Passionate love, since the most important emotional
needs of both are fully met!
You, and your spouse, fell in love with
each other because you both met some of each other's
most important emotional needs, and the only way to
stay in love, long after the honeymoon is over, is to
keep meeting these emotional needs.
So, the first step for you, and your
spouse, is to identify what are your most important
emotional needs - those that will make you the happiest
and most contented. The easiest way is to sit down,
take a sheet of paper, and jot down what you would like
your spouse to do/not do, that would give you the greatest
happiness. A list, of at least five of your most important
emotional needs, in order of priority, would be adequate
for a start. When you both are ready with it, exchange
the sheets of paper.
Now, that you, and your spouse, know
what you can do for each other that, will make you both
the happiest and contented married couple, it only remains
to learn how to become experts at meeting these emotional
needs. The degree of expertise you both acquire at meeting
each other's most important emotional needs will be
measured by the intensity of the fire of love and passion
in your marriage.
1howto.com
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