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One Child or Two? Adding to the Family
If you are debating
whether to bring another child into your family, consider
some of the following questions with your partner. You
may find that your mind has already been made up!
Bringing a sibling home
is a dream for many parents and grandparents, and the
desire to have more children can be an emotional and
idealistic idea for some couples. Despite the mental
picture, choosing to enlarge your family in this day
and age requires a new set of guidelines and principles
than when your parents were having children.
What Is Your Plan?
You already have one child, so you're
familiar with the work involved in caring for a baby.
You've been through sleepless nights and diaper changes
so what else is there to know?
If you are hoping for a large family
with the idea of staying home with your children it
is wise to consider the reality of your lifestyle and
the sacrifices to be made. While a single child has
already altered your life don't take for granted some
of the ease with which you may be able to call on friends
or family for babysitting, take your child to social
events or on an errand run.
If you are still holding on to a lifestyle
that you had before children you will very likely find
a second child causes a drastic change. Granted, some
children are easier than others, but if your first child
is demanding more of you than you expected, a second
child will only double that feeling.
What is the Cost?
The truth, despite what your grandmother
may tell you, is that it does cost more to have more
children - not just 'another potato in the pot'. More
than one parent has had to find new babysitting arrangements
when returning to work after a second child because
the grandparent or friend did not feel able to take
on the additional work. Daycare costs will double -
drastically reducing your take-home pay.
If you are choosing to stay home with
your children (which in some cases is financially more
sound) you will still encounter extra costs even if
the second child will wear your older child's clothes
(assuming they are the same sex) or is breastfeeding
for the first year.
Add to that the cost of health care,
education and larger accommodations or vehicles and
you will quickly see the numbers adding up. In your
parents' or grandparents' time that might not have been
such a big consideration. While choosing to have children
is not only a financial cost, preparing for that aspect
is important.
You may be in a good place financially
and otherwise to take on the costs or you may feel the
price of having more children to love is worth the sacrifice.
Many families both survive and thrive on the tighter
budget of additional children and if you are prepared
for it yours can too.
How is Your Health?
Children can wear you out. Love them
and cherish them but if you are dealing with poor health
or stamina you may find your resources tapped with a
second child.
It is a joy for a family to grow. You
will not regret the person that comes, but for the sake
of the family's happiness you need to treat the decision
to add to a family as important as the decision to start
one.
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