|
How To Deal with 'Whiners'
If you care for a
preschooler chances are you have heard the irritating
whine that calls on all your care giving skills and
patience, to ignore. Unfortunately it is a behavior
that can turn into a very annoying habit and may affect
your child's interactions with teachers and other children
if not managed early on.
To combat this 'fingernails on a blackboard'
method of communication it is valuable to discern WHY
your child is whining.
"Why Do Kids Whine?"
Whining often starts in toddlers aged
2 to 3 as they deal with overwhelming situations and
developments. With language being a new and sometimes
rudimentary skill, whining is actually a progression
from crying - the only method younger babies have to
communicate.
In this sense, most whining can be attributed
to physical or mental exhaustion rather than manipulation.
Children who are tired, cranky, hungry or frustrated
may switch to whining as a device to claim attention.
While this form of attention getting can be aggravating
to parents and caregivers, they should try to view it
as a signal of the child's state, not as a purposeful
tactic of control.
While trying to manage a young child's
environment can reduce whining, it is still important
to encourage proper communication. This is especially
true as the child gets older if they rely on whining
as a method of getting what they want.
While parents may find an infant's crying
to be bothersome, it is still recognized as a tool for
communication. As language skills develop it is vital
that children learn to rely on verbal expression rather
than whining to relate to others.
If your older child regularly whines
when denied a request or asked to follow direction (time
for bed, no candy, hurry up) you will need to stay unemotional
and clear in your direction to avoid fueling the fire.
Suggestions such as telling them you
can't understand them and requesting them to talk with
a 'big boys voice' may help. Warning your child that
you will not give in to whining must be followed without
exception. If you said no to a request for a toy while
in the store you must stick to your decision despite
the whining.
Praise your child when they ask for
things in a proper voice. Even if you are not able to
give them what they ask for, do praise them first and
tell them what they WILL get for asking nicely. Perhaps
it's an ice cream when they get home or an extra story
at bedtime. Acknowledge that they are disappointed and
suggest you make a plan for doing (or getting) what
they want for another time if that is actually possible.
Thank them for dealing with the situation.
If possible, find areas where you can
prevent the whining ahead of time. If leaving the park
always results in whining you may not be able to say
you won't take them back if they keep it up. However,
if you tell them BEFORE going that you are only staying
for half an hour and then you're going to do such and
such (including something rewarding if you're running
errands or going home) you may find an instant reduction
in the amount of whining. If it starts, you might remind
them of your plans and take the REWARD away if the whining
continues.
Whatever your strategy, helping children
grow includes helping them communicate in a positive
way. This, like so many other aspects of parenting,
is not an overnight job. Patience and consistency will
assist you while working with your child in developing
these skills.
1howto.com
-------------------------------------------------
Please
Share Your Tips with Us
|
