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Friends with Benefits - Can it work?
Is there ever such a thing
as “No Strings Attached?” Can a friendship
between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that
just an idealistic concept?
One night stands aren’t as in as
they used to be. Now lovers are coupling up for more
long term sex. It’s called “Friends with Benefits”.
They get all the benefits of a relationship without
the commitment. They start out as friends. They enjoy
each other’s company and then one night start sleeping
together.
They don’t date. It’s not
a traditional “significant other” type relationship.
In many cases, the other friends don’t even know
about their sex on the side. It’s set up as a mutual
gratification, friends helping friends arrangement.
What most Friends with Benefits fail
to do is set up the rules. It generally starts out as
either happenstance or perhaps a small dialog exchange,
“I don’t have anyone, you don’t either,
so let’s do it, no strings attached. What do you
think?” It all sounds well in good; at least initially
when both are hornier than a unicorn. But can friends
who sleep together remain friends once it ends? Or is
the start of mutual sex the start of the end of their
friendship?
Sex creates a bond, no matter how discussed
up front it is. Someone always gets hurt in the end
of a no strings attached, Friends with Benefits arrangement.
Booty Calls always start out with mutual orgasms as
the sole purpose. Yet when two people share that kind
of closeness, and if it's a recurring buddy booty call,
then they spend time together. Someone is doing something
very intimate with and to the other. Who isn’t
always appreciative of a good orgasm?
One or both may know that they don't
want a commitment and that's why the No Strings Attached
agreement was conceived. But when the “ooh baby,
ya that feels so good, I love what you do to me”
occurs regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something
for the other? One person will inevitably feel a stronger
emotional bond than the other; it's not male/female
bias. One will still only love the physical benefits
and the other will enjoy the great sex so much that
they get attached, even though they weren't looking
for any relationship.
Or perhaps one person may have always
been secretly attracted to the friend and knew the other
didn't want a relationship, yet figured a Friends with
Benefits arrangement was better than nothing. Hence
they verbally agreed to the arrangement but emotionally
they were already hooked.
Develop some rules before entering into
any such arrangement. Consider these suggestions: No
going out with each other unless it’s in a group
situation or you know the night will end in sex, therefore
the outing is part of foreplay, no public affection,
no gifts and any other boundaries you want to instill.
Before it starts, decide how it will end. If starting
out as friends, the goal is to end as friends. If new
love interests were previously discussed among friends,
shouldn’t those types of conversations still be
allowed?
Use your head to consider wisely what
may be lost if you enter into a Friends with Benefits
arrangement.
1howto.com
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