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How to Make Your First Dates Much More Successfull
What should be the simple pleasure
of getting to know another human being can sometimes
buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations
and the baggage of previous relationships.
Here are some tips to consider when dating:
- No matter how wonderful your date
is compared with the schmucks you've been seeing (or
married to) do not tell him that he is a nice guy.
- A shared sense of humor is important.
Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh
out of the guy. That way you know you've got something.
If he doesn't get your jokes what else is he going to
"get" about you?
- Be yourself.
People sometimes try too hard to impress.
If they just relax a little, the date will go better
and they will not have to worry about any of those little
embellishments backfiring later on.
- The worst thing people do on first
dates is lie. They are trying to improve their status
so you will be interested in them.
- Do not give up.
But if things do not go well be prepared.
Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call
to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the
date.
- If you are meeting someone you know
only through a personal ad or an online dating service
be sure to go to a place with plenty of other people
around. And do not blab out your whole life story on
the first date. Keep it general: music, books, movies.
- There is a difference between first
dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone
you connect with through a dating service or ad. That
is a meeting to assess each other, not a date.
- If you are comfortable and seem to
be compatible set up a date to spend more time together.
- Remember that the first date is supposed
to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he
is getting to know you. It should not be something that
feels like a meeting with your boss.
- Look for something creative and make
sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the
activity relates to a shared interest, such as art or
music.
- Doing something you enjoy takes the
pressure off.
- Women sometimes crank up the pressure
because of the hope that this guy is "the One".
Slow down; it's just a date.
- Have realistic expectations about
a first date. Some people start planning their wedding
and others expect the worst.
- Have a specific plan. Do not leave
things up to chance. Flexibility is nice but it reduces
anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity
and how to dress.
- If the date goes well do not hang
on until the wee hours of the morning. There will likely
be a next time.
- If the date is a dud do not make any
promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if
you feel no interest in further socializing. Do be honest
and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other
than friendship and let your date take it from there.
Pick yourself up and move on. There
are 110 million single adults in the United States alone.
- Give your date a chance. Take the
time to listen and look for their special qualities.
The Number One mistake people make on
first dates is to judge the other person too quickly
and harshly. Always keep an open mind. There is so much
to discover about a person.
1howto.com
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