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Temper Tantrums - How To Calm Your Child
You already know that
your toddler is a whirlwind of emotions and excitement.
Temper tantrums are a natural part of your child’s
development and their way of working out their feelings
the only way they know how. Here are five easy ways
to calm your child (and yourself!) without giving in.
1. One of the best ways, heartless as
it may seem, to quell a temper tantrum in progress is
to ignore the child. By going into another room or a
different location, you’re sending a message that
their behavior is unacceptable and it won’t get
them what they want. Since there’s no one around
to hear them cry, they’ll stop almost immediately!
Just make sure that they’re not in danger of hurting
themselves or others while they’re working out
their feelings.
2. Because temper tantrums are a way
for your child to release their pent up emotions, you
can help them express themselves more calmly by telling
them how YOU feel. Saying things to them like “I
feel sad when you call me names or say bad things to
me” or “It hurts me when you throw things
because that makes a mess and I have to clean it up.”
Sharing your feelings openly and sharing what’s
bothering you teaches your child that it’s good
for them to respond in the same way.
3. If your child is throwing a tantrum
because you took something away or won’t let them
have something, refuse the urge to give in to them,
no matter how loud they get. This kind of behavior is
a way for them to test your patience and their boundaries.
When you consistently give in to their demands, this
reinforces the tantrum behavior, and it will only continue
or get worse. Instead, tell your child in simple terms
why you took the item away, or why they couldn’t
have what they wanted at that time, and work through
the anger and sadness together. This shows them that
not only does crying not give you what you want, but
also that you’ve set firm limits which can’t
be crossed.
4. This may sound silly, but if your
child starts throwing a tantrum, duplicate their behavior
as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. Chances are,
they’ll stop what they’re doing and wonder
what’s gotten into Mommy or Daddy. This shows that
their behavior is pointless, and perhaps even silly,
and they won’t be as likely to do it again next
time! Just be careful and don’t try this in a public
place!
5. If you are in public when the tantrum
hits, take your child to a quiet place where he or she
can work out their feelings in private. Speak to them
in an open, loving tone, and resist the urge to yell
back. Say things like, “I know you’re mad.
It’s okay to feel angry or sad and cry. But you
can’t hit or act like that when there are people
around. So let’s try getting out all our anger
/ letting out all our tears and having a good cry. This
teaches your little one that not only are these feelings
perfectly natural, but it also gives them the opportunity
to work through the problem and release all those pent
up emotions.
And Mom or Dad, it’s natural for
you to get fed up, embarrassed or short-tempered when
your child throws a tantrum. But instead of yelling
out of frustration, focus on your child’s good
behavior and praise them often for it. Your child mimics
what he or she observes, so don’t think that a
compliment goes unnoticed. Children are eager to please.
By redirecting their temper tantrums into a channel
of open communication and highlighting their best behavior,
you’re setting a great example for them to grow
into expressive, loving and respectable human beings.
1howto.com
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