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"Should I Stay Home With My Baby?"
You didn't plan on
making this decision. You thought going back to work
would be fine, but now that your baby has arrived you
may be facing one of the most difficult decisions a
mother or can make: "Should I stay home with my
baby?"
One of downsides of a society that has
encouraged women to focus on career and put off having
children until they're established is that many women
are not prepared for the gut-wrenching desire to stay
home and raise their children full time.
Don't ask your mother, more than likely
she was home with you at least while you were an infant.
Your grandmother may never have worked outside the home
after children were born, if ever. You must make this
decision, and it can be harder than you think - especially
if the plan was for you to return to work right away.
Here are some of the common concerns and questions you
need to consider when deciding if you can stay home
with your baby:
"Can We Afford It?"
Probably the most immediate concern
is, can you afford to stay home? If you are already
counting pennies during your weeks away from work this
can be an extremely difficult area to navigate. However,
if you feel passionate about staying home consider where
you might cut back on living expenses; can you downsize
your home or car? Get rid of cell phone payments or
reign in your spending habits?
Also consider the cost of daycare, which
is usually higher for infants than older children. Take
the cost of daycare combined with work related expenses
(lunches, clothing, gas, etc.) and subtract it from
your monthly income. You may be surprised with how little
you actually bring home at the end of the day.
"Will I Ruin My Career?"
No one can give you a guarantee here.
It isn't great for a career to go on hiatus for a lengthy
period of time, but that doesn't mean it can't be done.
Depending on your career path you may
try to upgrade your education prior to returning to
the workforce. Perhaps you could even become a contractor
or freelancer when you decide to go back. If you don't
want to get too far away, try finding part time employment
in your field as a compromise.
"What if My Partner Doesn't Agree?"
If money gets tight because of your
decision and you don't have the support of your partner
your relationship is sure to feel the added stress.
Combine that with the stress of a new baby and your
emotions and esteem are sure to take a blow.
Try at all costs to come to an agreement
with your partner. Show the cost comparison of working
with staying home. Offer solutions such as taking part
time work or work you can do from home. Be realistic
about what you can handle. If you must return to work,
consider it temporary until you can make arrangements
everyone can live with, it will be worth it.
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