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How To Select an Au Pair
If you haven't been
tracking "Supernanny" or "Nanny 911"
- the latest self-help shows in child rearing - then
you are definitely missing great parenting tips and
techniques from the broadcasting networks.
These superwomen of the 21st Century
are providing parents with proven old time child rearing
techniques - without the use of heavy handed punishment.
The strategy consists of setting and enforcing clear
boundaries for the children, along with an appropriate
system of rewards and punishment. The nannies have a
firm, yet loving nature which seems to work wonders
on the children.
While nannies or au pairs are proving
to be a big hit in resolving reality TV family disputes,
you may be tempted to think that hiring an au pair will
dissolve all family issues...
Think again!
Selecting an au pair has its own set
of difficulties that confront you - and you will need
to resolve these issues if you are planning to employ
an au pair.
Here are three items to assist you once
you have selected an au pair.
LET HER SETTLE IN
Let's assume that you've successfully
found a compatible nanny or au pair. Congratulations!
Things are about to change.
In most cases you've set yourself up
for a 12 month commitment based on screened research
from the employment agency, a phone interview and meeting
in-person for the first time.
The day arrives and you escort your
newest "member of the family" up to where
she will stay for your time together. Both the host
and the au pair can be slightly nervous during these
first time meetings, but there is no need to be shy.
The first thing your au pair is likely
to do is to check out her new "family". Is
she seriously going to spend the next 12 months with
you? You are just as foreign to her, as she is to you!
Your au pair may consider this to be
one ambition that she has hoped to fulfill. As a host,
you may be feeling that this is a long awaited relief
from the tortuous responsibility of raising kids.
After the initial introductions she
will look around the room and take a deep breath. Is
the room to small? Will she get her own privacy? Is
the paint falling off? Does the roof leak? Has she got
her own mirror?
As a provider of accommodation, you
will need to ensure that her room is of a high standard.
It doesn't have to be a 5 star hotel, but it does need
to be a private space where she can get some time out.
Ensure that you provide clean linen,
blankets and pillows. This will give her the message:
"You are welcome here."
Gradually - perhaps with a glint of
excitement - she will unpack her bags and start to settle
in.
CLEARLY DEFINE HERE ROLES OF RESPONSIBILITY
You will need to establish a clear line
of responsibility with your au pair to distinguish between
what is her "job" compared to her private
life.
If the distinction is not made early-on
then she may become confused about the limitations and
expectations of her role. Instead of "Nanny 911"
you may end up calling "Family Counseling 911"
instead!
Consider the following questions as
guidelines:
- Is she allowed to take one day off
per week from her normal duties?
- How is she to be paid, and how often?
- Is her main area of responsibility
towards the children or towards running the house?
- Does she have any initial concerns?
GET TIME AWAY AS A FAMILY
Let's assume that your au pair settles
in and is having a great time. She performs well and
handles the children like a dream. (Super Nanny eat
your heart out!)
She may be from another culture and
so she is absorbing everything she can about your way
of life. You find yourself caught up talking with her
about everything and "life is rosy".
Now that you have got your household
back in good working order again, with the help of your
au pair, it's time to make the break. Go on a holiday.
Spend some time by yourselves.
Leave the nanny at home.
You need to take a break from "the
nanny" and get away on your own - and take your
children! Go camping or find a hotel. Try to leave the
house for at least three days...
Make sure you pack plenty of children
friendly activities so that you can spend quality time
with your children. After all, they might just be missing
their mom or dad a little more since the nanny first
came along.
While you are away you do not need to
even mention the nanny. I'm sure she won't be thinking
about you!
If you are careful in the way you set
up your living and working relationship with your au
pair, you will find that both of you will benefit greatly
from the experience.
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