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How To Help Your Child Overcome Fear
Does your child suffer
the detrimental effects of fear?
Fear is part of our emotional makeup
that helps us to identify danger. When children sense
that something is wrong, they may feel an intense anxiety,
causing their heart rate and blood pressure to increase,
as well as sweating, shaking or running away from their
object of fear.
In cases where children are highly fearful,
they may run to their parents with loud shrieks or screams.
The sense of fear may not relate proportionally to the
threat or danger that is evident. This is called “irrational
fear”. When fear stops a child from functioning
in their normal environment, it has become a “phobia”.
HOW ARE FEARS DEVELOPED?
There are several ways that children
develop fear. The child’s first main contact with
fear is usually developed by relating cause and effect.
For instance, a loud noise like the discharge of a gun
may cause a child to be afraid if they see negative
effects resulting from the discharge. A child may run
away to hide whenever they see a gun – avoiding
the object of fear.
A second way that fear is developed
in children is by observing the actions of others -
usually their parents - and imitating them. For example,
whenever a child sees a parent shriek or run away from
a spider, the child learns that spiders are objects
of fear.
Sometimes fears are developed when parents
“reward” the child for showing a fearful response.
For example, a child may avoid using a bath towel that
has “germs” on it for fear of being contaminated.
If a clean towel is given each time a child requests
it because of “germs” then you really are
only rewarding the fear response, rather than helping
to solve the root cause.
HOW CAN PARENTS HELP THEIR CHILD OVERCOME
FEAR?
Here are seven steps to help your child
to overcome fear.
1. Don’t model fearful reactions
2. Show them that you can cope and don’t need to
avoid fearful situations
3. Teach your child how to cope with fearful situations
4. Praise your child when they cope rather than run
away
5. Keep a calm atmosphere during unsettled periods
6. Stay firm and keep a positive outlook
7. Talk about genuine threats to provide a balanced
view
Your children’s fear can be reduced
by working through the fearful situation directly with
your child. By showing that you are able to handle fearful
situations you can help your child to “outgrow”
most fears that are common in children.
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