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How To Help Teens Cope With Their Troubles
Some folks say that
the "teenage years are the toughest". For
you and them! Growing up is a continual process filled
with regular highs and lows. As a parent, it's expected.
But what can you do to help through the tough times
they might face down the road of life? Here are some
quick tips for those parents that are struggling to
understand their "troubled teens".
COMMUNICATION COUNTS!
While most teens can be pretty "tight-lipped"
about many of their complicated issues they might be
trying to handle or hash out on their own, simply taking
the time to ask them what's bothering them or what's
going on can REALLY help. Even if you don't have the
best line of communication with your teen, or it has
somehow broken down as they have gotten older, most
teens are willing, and ready, to open up to you in most
cases.
Remember to always LISTEN FIRST to what
they have to say. While the topic of discussion may
not seem that important in your eyes, teens see everything
as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them, what they are
going through is almost like the "end of the world"
or at least the end of THEIR world. Most teens are self-centered,
and so, the entire world as it relates to them, which
is pretty much every single aspect of it, revolves around
them. At least, in their thought process.
No matter how compelled you might be,
DON'T INTERRUPT THEM! Let them get the weight of their
concerns or problems off their chest without "butting
in" irregardless of how upset you might be at what
they are revealing to you. Yes, they are letting you
inside their small, strange teen world, so be grateful.
It will help to strengthen their trust in you not to
EXPLODE on them and further open the line of communication
between you both.
UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION
After your teen has revealed the crux of their current
situation, HOLD YOUR TEMPER, no matter how bad it is.
Let them know that despite their actions, you love them
without boundary and always will. Try putting yourself
into "their shoes" and look at the situation
from their vantage point.
Without being too "preachy"
explain to them that you too were once a teen and had
some rough patches, or made poor choices yourself, but
you made it through and so will they. Teens don't like
being lectured. They get enough of that in school!
Your goal is to be friendly without
being their friend. You are still the parent and as
the parent, you MUST hand down disciplinary consequences
for their actions. Do your best to not blur this thin
line. It will just make things more difficult for you
both later on.
Also, remember, that the point here
is to let them understand that you are ALWAYS available
to listen when they are having problems. And through
your life experience you are ready with solutions to
those problems.
GET HELP OUTSIDE THE FAMILY
If your teen's particular situation is too much for
you to effectively offer a solution or help them, don't
be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. There are outstanding
organizations out there ready to help. You can find
just the right one by searching through the Yellow Pages
or doing a topic search online to get in touch with
the proper organization.
It's important for the health and well-being
of your teen to do everything in your power to help.
Also keep in mind that whatever the age, unless your
teen is willing to TRY then any outside help you seek
will be fruitless.
There are other techniques you can use
to "get through" to your teen, but these are
some of the most helpful.
1howto.com
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