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How To Discuss Behavior Problems at School or Daycare
As a parent or guardian,
your child’s health and safety should be one of
your top concerns. If your child is enrolled in a day
care or school program and something goes wrong, you’re
sure to feel upset or angry. But taking an aggressive
approach can sometimes make the problem worse rather
than better. With that in mind, here are five proven
steps you can follow to document, report and follow-up
when a problem occurs involving your child.
1. First, get to the heart of the problem.
Let your child tell you in his or her own words –
but don’t rely on their explanation as the only
one. Get information from teachers, classmates or even
other parents. You’ll find that there are several
sides to the story, and the more you know, the more
fully and accurately you can approach the teacher or
caretaker and voice your concerns.
2. No one likes to be on the receiving
end of a harsh criticism right from the start. Try to
find something worth praising or noting in the school
or person who is working with your child. Starting the
conversation out on a positive note shows that not only
are you concerned about your child’s well being,
but that you also notice and appreciate the dedication
and enthusiasm of the caregivers and teachers involved.
3. When it comes time to share your
complaint, try to keep the issue on the actual incident
instead of the people involved. This helps minimize
any later confrontations (between your child and another
child, for example), and also helps the teacher focus
on the problem and not the ones who started it. Also,
don’t forget or ignore your child’s possible
role in the problem. Usually when an issue arises, there
are two causes – not just one.
4. Don’t be quick to point the
fingers or judge others – no matter how tempting.
Rather, work with your child’s teacher or caregiver
on coming up with several solutions to the problem and
reaffirm your active role in your child’s education.
By being a problem-solver, you’re not only showing
that you’re active and involved in your child’s
life, but also that you’re a responsible individual
who cares about coming up with solutions rather than
winning arguments.
5. After you explain your concerns to
the teacher or caretaker, follow up with them and your
child to see how things have improved. If the situation
hasn’t changed, take your complaint to the next
person up and repeat the steps above until a resolution
has been made. Being informed and involved with your
child’s school shows that you’re more interested
in seeing quality results than making a one-time complaint
and letting the issue sit while nothing is done to correct
it.
Above all, show empathy and understanding
toward the person being criticized. No one likes to
bear the brunt of a complaint, so try to finish up the
conversation on a positive or enthusiastic note. Express
your confidence in the school or day care center and
show that you’re looking forward to a new beginning
– one where everyone wins. Good luck!
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